Losing your memory isn't all that cool

So last thursday was our version of the godly day of St. Patrick's. This day is called Vappu up here in north. Needless to say as a proud finnish person I was drunk. And not just drunk, oh no. I was completely wasted. Like wasted enough to forget about 50-60% of the whole night!

I will start from the beginning, and I'd like to tell you that I wasn't planning on drinking that night, but eventually ended up passing out leaning my body against a road sign, but that is the end of this story.

Well anyway my friend came to pick me up at about 1 pm. or so and we went to this local liquor shop (we call it "the local heaven", but enough about that) and suddenly I had spent shitloads of money. The fact that I will drink tonight was starting to hit me.

After we had bought all that was needed (muchos alcohol and a pizza) we went to my friend's place to get a good buzz before the evening of sinful actions. We started drinking and after a while we decided to go to a sauna. As we started to lose water from our bodies because of the heat, we tried to compensate it by drinking as much as we could. Sounds logical, right? Well we were having fun, talking shit and just being manly men. Then after a while my very good friend came to my friend's house and then there was 3 of us. Few minutes later I was sitting naked in this house and eating my pizza while these two were outside probably talking shit about all that came to their minds. And then my friend's dad came...
Now picture this situation. There you are, coming home from work after a very stressful day. You open up the door and the first thing you see is a naked 18 year old you've never seen before in your life going "WAS UP DUDE?!"
Yeah. That wasn't the most glorious time of my life. I had little bit of explaining to do, but my friend's dad was pretty cool about it.

Later that evening we left to the city of Tampere where everyone I knew of was drinking and partying. Awesome, right? You'd think that, but the truth was that I was starting to notice myself not walking straight. How am I going pick up a girl if I can't even walk straight? FUCK!
Oh well, I'm going to think of something.

Few hours passed and nothing very special happened, but then I got the smartest idea of my fucking day. How cool it would be if I kissed every girl I knew when they came to say hello and hug me?! Fucking cool, or that was what I thought at the time.
So first couple of chicks went pretty well. They were laughing and I was happy (and these were just kisses on the cheeks. I'm not an animal, god damnit), but then my drinking had gotten the best of my upper body as well and my kisses were starting to miss those cheeks I was so carefully aiming at. So this was when I started to hear "I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!" from all the angry boyfriends. As I have no control over myself when I'm drunk, I just laughed and moved on. Now that I think about it I dodged at least few bullets that night.

Night moved on and I was fucking drunk. I remember talking to couple of my friends and we were screaming to eachother shit like "YOU ARE SO FUCKING AWESOME", "LET'S PARTY TOGETHER!"... Then I have like really long black out and I have no idea what happened in that time and suddenly I'm talking to some other dude. This happened at least few times.

My friend and his girlfriend were kind enough to look after me and then we went to eat at this McDonalds or some shit, and apparently (I can't remember, but I was told) I had eaten my burger in a not so civil way (I bet from the floor, but I can't remember).
Then I remember seeing by very good friend's ex-girlfriend. Now I remember the hug and I remember putting my lips somewhere, but I was too fucking drunk to remember if they even hit her (when I woke up the next morning I surely hoped they hadn't, since I had made myself a complete ass already). I could have tripped and headputted her.

I was on a fucking roll, running around, doing crazy shit. I tried to get in to a bar, but I was too drunk to get in. That pissed me off. Me? Drunk? Walking like I'm going to fall over? Fuck you! I'm completely sober and it's not my fault these buildings are trying to crush me and I need to dodge them!

Then my brain finally emerged after taking a dip in the alcohol covered lake called my skull and I came to accept my own wasted persona. Time to go home. It's like 3 degrees outside and I have only my t-shirt on. Why the fuck am I only wearing my t-shirt? Where are my clothes?! Who cares, I wanna sleep.

I went to get a taxi, but ended up passing out, waking up some time later and decided this isn't worth it.

When I finally got home I went to bed and decided this Vappu sucked ass, and it did. Few days after that I almost died out of shame when I heard what I had done.

Bar, hospital, bar. Not a bad combo.

As I stated in my previous blog, I went out drinking last night. No, I don't have a hangover, but what do I do is a big fucking hospital bill in my pocket. I guess I will put my "top 10 games" on hold and tell you about last night. This is not a rant. This is a fucking idiot, telling how he did some fucking idiotic stuff.

Last night started out pretty well. I mean we started our bar tour from Hällä, a fucking dump of a bar, but as long as the drinks are cheap I'm not complaining. Because I'm weird like that.
Well we were getting our drinking on and suddenly I saw a friend of mine who got back from the army. the drunk fuck as I was, I decided to go say hey by being a manly shit. Dudes, this guy had been training in methods of killing and I didn't want to seem like a pussy. So I tried to do something you never should do. I tried to punch him. Now look, if you've ever been drunk, you know you shouldn't do any sudden moves with your body just because they will cock up. Of course my punch missed my friend and went directly in my other friends eye. Dude dropped down like your selfrespect when waking up next to a naked guy. I almost peed my pants. Very un-manly, I know, but I thought I killed him. Well obviously we went to a hospital and I covered the taxi, the hospital bill, the medicine for his eye and later I bought him few drinks. I mean that's the least I could do. shit costs cash, but I did cause that black eye of his.

After that awesome run we decided the evening isn't done and we went to a bar, but the rest of the bar tour was pretty ordinary. I met this Canadian girl who I danced with. This next part is an actual conversation we had while getting jiggy with it:

Rabbe: "god damn it's hot!"
Chick: "ahaha"
*shirt off and dancing continues* Rabbe: "ok, that didn't help at all"
Chick: "wanna get even more hot?"
Rabbe: "I might..."

That was great. Unfortunately the evening didn't lead to anything except to a very subtle neck kiss and some ass grabbing. Oh well. You can't win everytime, right? Later I danced with couple other girls. One of whom was hot as hell. Not kidding.
That also didn't lead to anything. Except some ass grabbing. Well, we left soon after that and I stayed at my friends place for the night. I sleeped nude. Because I can.

P.S. I just farted. I don't think my fart has ever smelled this awful.

The start

Here I am, sitting by my computer, doing something I never thought I would do. Actually I went as far as declaring how idiotic these things are. Blogs. Who really needs some guy ranting how his wife dumped him for a lesbian truckdriver? Who wants to read about how my cat just pooped on the floor?
I don't have a cat (stupid creatures that only freaky ladies in pajamas worship), but I think message of this statement was pretty clear. Blogs are stupid waste of time.

But since I did start one, I better try to make it the best one I can. Hopefully people will eventually catch up and tell me how wrongly I'm doing the entire thing.


Basically what I have in my little mind is listing all sorts of stuff, reviewing movies, bands, albums, games, sports. Mostly guy stuff. And girly stuff if you happen to be a really butch girl.

I probably won't go in to details just how and what I'm doing, but I want to keep it very casual. If I rate a movie, I might skip the acting part and give my ratings based on stuff that you love. If I think that in a horror movie the monster looks like a big turd, I might give kudos for that. Unless I happen not to like turds at the time.

In the end, for you people this is a way in to a mind of a guy living really god damn north. I really hope at least few people might read this.

To that note, I will continue my blog tomorrow. Let's all hope my future hangover doesn't kill me. I will be making my first list about the games I've played. top 10 all time best games. Fuck yeah, I'm a bad ass.